- If Internet Explorer is brave enough to ask to be your default browser, then you are brave enough to ask that girl out.
- A user interface is like a joke. If you have to explain it, it’s not that good.
- A programmer’s wife sends him to the grocery store with the instructions, “Get a loaf of bread, and if they have eggs, get a dozen.”
He comes home with a dozen loaves of bread and tells her, “They had eggs.”
- Why did the programmer quit his job?
Because he didn’t get arrays. (a raise, get it?)
- Why do Java programmers have to wear glasses?
Because they don’t C#. (see sharp!!)
- 3 Database SQL walked into a NoSQL bar. A little while later…they walked out because they couldn’t find a table!
- A manager, a mechanical engineer, and software analyst are driving back from convention through the mountains. Suddenly, as they crest a hill, the brakes on the car go out and they fly careening down the mountain. After scraping against numerous guardrails, they come to a stop in the ditch. Everyone gets out of the car to assess the damage.
The manager says, “Let’s form a group to collaborate ideas on how we can solve this issue.”
The mechanical engineer suggests, “We should disassemble the car and analyze each part for failure.”
The software analyst says, “Let’s push it back up the hill and see if it does it again.”
- 99 little bugs in the code
99 bugs in the code
patch one down, compile it around
117 bugs in the code
- How many developers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, that’s a hardware problem.
People thought it seemed scripted.
- It’s finished, just need to test
- Programmer (noun)
A person who fixed a problem that you didn’t know you had, in a way you don’t understand